Anonymous

My Husband Has A Gambling Problem. I Live With Him But He Usually Gambles All His Money I Don't Know If I Can Get Him To Pay Child Support ?

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Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I just filed for divorce yesterday.  Living with a CG for a year was all I could handle.  It's dangerous and scary.  All the money is GONE, the lies and deceit is more than I can bear.  I kicked him out 4 months ago, told him to get help . . . . Which he did. He went to GA meetings and a counselor.. . Just to appease me, apparently. . .he was still gambling.  I filed for divorce, he's blaming ME, I know I did the right thing.  Thankfully I have a great job , home, family, etc, to back me up. . .I don't NEED HIM.  I don't think he believed I would actually leave him. ..  LEAVE.  It's SCARY and horrifying. . .. I don't have kids thanifully and I know it's easier said than done.  .. .. But 15 months of marriage and all the losses I have taken is better than 15 years!   I have worked HARD and will not let him take me down with him . .. I will NOT!  I'm so disguisted by this horrible addiction....
Will Martin Profile
Will Martin answered
Your husband won't stop gambling unless he wants to, and in order for him to want that, something in his life has to change. As long as you stay with him and put up with this, he will almost certainly go on gambling. We have had this in my family, and basically a gambling addict will let his family literally starve rather than give up his habit. They don't care about anyone except themselves.

I think anyone who has had any contact with this illness would give you the same advice: Leave, take the children and don't even consider going back until he has undergone treatment. You will be bankrupt anyway if you stay with him, so however financially difficult it may be to leave, from what you say it can't be worse than staying.

You can find some advice at this forum where someone discusses a problem similar to yours, and several links are provided to organizations where you can get help. As for child support - of course the law would require it, and maybe the shock of getting into trouble over child support would help him to address his behaviour.
thanked the writer.
Margot Hall
Margot Hall commented
an addict will only stop when he/she is ready. Gambler's anonymous is where your husband will seek answers to his underlying problems ONCE HE IS READY. You cannot do anything about it. There is Al-anon, which is designed for families of alcoholics. I am sure, that if you wnat to have a relatioship with him after you decide if you are leaving him, well, al-anon will give you basic tools to stop enabling. It is the only resource I can think of for YOU. You need help too. Believe me!!! It is necessary becasue you have lived in an unhealthy environment of which you will be able to recover IF you get the proper information to turn your life around. Good luck and God bless you and yours.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I just went through this and had to divorce my husband.  It is an awful addiction but there is no cure unless he admits to his problem and gets help.  My husband would not do it and so I felt I had no choice.  Things just kept getting worse and the dollar amounts kept rising.  I finally decided not to be his ATM machine anymore.  I am sorry that you are going through this.  I wish I could give you better advice.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My husband also has gambling problem. I have two kids with him. He always lies to me, he is saying that he is going to work, but he is going gambling because I check bank statement and he is taking money out for gambling. We have huge financial problem he got $ 20,000 from my sister I don't when will he pay it back. He has tow loans to pay one for home and other for his credit cards. I am a student in college it is my first year of college I don't know what to do?
A Patt Profile
A Patt answered
Divorce him and get a Child Support court order then contact your area Dept of Healt and Welfare and by law they will find him and get a court order specific to the situation and enforce it for you. You just pay $25 up front. There is no other sure way of getting paid for the benefit of your precious children up to age 18

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